It is hard to believe that two years have gone by already. But, alas it is true. My little man is two! I cannot even put into words what a blessing it has been to mother a little boy. I had three younger brothers growing up so I thought I knew all there could be about boys. Man was I wrong! I knew what it was to have brothers, but having a son is a whole different experience. I have said it many times in the past two years, but I have to say it again. A boy is a boy from the core. Without instruction they play like boys. Little man has been surrounded by many women, grown and little. There is Mom (me J), 3 sisters, Grandmother & Grandma. Then, there is Dad. As you can see, we women outnumber the testosterone in his world. But, he is still a BOY! He plays like a boy. Cars are no longer the "people" that my girls turned them into, they are cars. Where he puts all his food, I have no clue! No one showed him how to make "grrrr" noises when he pulled a hulk toy out of a happy meal. He just did it. He wrestles with out puppy Walker. He thinks it is funny when Walker chews on his hand and in turn pushes it further into his mouth. He loves to be outside playing in the dirt and eating rocks. He climbs higher than I can reach, I think just to show me he can. How he plays and sees the world is at his very core. That is how God created him. And as much as he makes me gasp for air, I love that he is a boy to his core. To watch the differences between him and his sisters day after day is neat to see. I cannot tell a lie, my husband and I really wanted a boy first. But now looking back, I am very grateful for God's timing. I know that if it wasn't for my boy after 3 little girls, I would not have appreciated the boyish ways that God has ingrained him with. I would have missed out on so much enjoyment I get from watching him.
As much as I enjoy watching my little boy grow up I am a little scared. Not that he will lose his boyish ways. Like I said that is his core. I am afraid of losing my little boy though. The girls are all daddy's little girl. My Josh, is mommy's little boy. But, I know the reality that this little boy has to grow into a man. He already is grown if you watch him; at least he thinks he is. But, he still lies down for nap time. And that is my most favorite time with him. Not because he is going to sleep. Because, he is a cuddle bug. And he still likes to cuddle bug with his mommy. As he drifts off to sleep he tucks his hand under my head and holds my hair. (Side note: his future wife better not mind having him hold her and pat her hair because this is just what he does, he even does it if his sister lays him down for a nap.) It is such a sweet moment in the afternoon. I am so grateful to be home full-time now so that I can enjoy these moments. It also makes me sorrowful that I missed this with my girls. In those first moments of him sleeping when his eyes are freshly closed I love to lay with him for a few minutes and just take in all his features. His long eyelashes. His cute little nose. His plump cheeks, which are losing the plumpness. They change so much each and every day. It is so true that if you blink you will miss it. I am excited to see how he changes in this new year. I will also have moments where I want to put a brick on his head and stop him from growing up so that we don't make it to the inevitable time when he doesn't want his mommy to cuddle bug him anymore because he has gotten too big for that. I know that won't work in reality, but it is worth a try, right?
Either way, Happy 2nd Birthday to my Joshua! We are so very blessed to have you.
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